Cell Phone Horror

It all started yesterday when Chris was messing around with his iPhone. I bought it for him back in February of last year, and shortly after he jailbroke it. Once the 2.0 software upgrade came out, he upgraded but didn’t jailbreak it again until last night. He then started adding random ringtones since the default ones are terrible. He was getting a laugh out of the Star Wars tones so he put on a Chewbacca tone and went to the bathroom. While he was there I heard his phone going ape shit and it sounded like a disgruntled boar. Over and over, for about 20 seconds, I had to suffer through short and rather loud barks courtesy of the notorious furry Wookie. When it first started it scared the shit out of me and I yelled out at Chris that he needs to change it. Last thing I need is for his phone to go off while we are sleeping because I will probably have a massive heart attack. Since he couldn’t hear me due to the fan in the bathroom, I opened the door a crack and told him that it needs to be changed. When he got out he changed it but I had no idea what he had selected until 10 this morning.

In a pretty damn good sleep, I was having this dream about Chris and I. We were in our apartment, which looked a bit different, and he was telling me how he was going to let some guy borrow some of my video games. If anybody knows me in real life they know that my games are my babies. You don’t LET people borrow them without asking me first unless you want to feel the pain. In my dream I remember going off on Chris telling him that he had no right letting some dude borrow my stuff and that he better go and tell him that he can’t touch anything of mine. Dream Chris got pissy with me and left. When I walked into our bedroom I saw a guy that I thought was Chris and he had a plastic bag in his hand that he was filling with games and controllers. I started bitching him out thinking that he was Chris reinforcing feelings on the issue. The guy turned to look at me and it wasn’t Chris. It was the guy who was going to “borrow” my stuff. I looked in the bag and it was filled with a crap load of stuff: NES and Genesis games, a Genesis console, controllers etc. I couldn’t believe it because some of that stuff was hard to find and rather pricey. I snatched the bag from him and told him to get out of the apartment. I put my stuff down and left to go and look for Chris. While I was walking around I felt a buzz in my pocket and it was Chris’ iPhone. I have no idea how it got there but I pulled it out of my pocket and the shady man was the one calling him. Last thing I remember is holding the phone in my left hand while pressing on the screen to answer it with my right index finger but it wasn’t working. Then, in real life, I got a massive scare.

Rather loudly did the Imperial March from Star Wars start up. Somebody was calling Chris’ phone and I wanted to sit up in a panic because of how terrifying it was. I had been playing a large amount of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, going to the dark side of course, so hearing the Imperial March made me feel as if I was being called into battle. Once I realized that it was only his phone and not my cue to force lightning somebody I tried to fall back asleep but felt my heart wanting to jump out of my chest.

Eventually I did fall back asleep and overslept, but I have never been so scared from a ringtone in all my life.

– She Who Has The Last Word

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