And From The “Wait, What?” File…

And From The “Wait, What?” File…

I don’t even know what to make of this. Duke Nukem Forever. Shown at PAX. My brain just can’t comprehend this.Yes, that’s right. The game that has been through three Presidents, possibly four. The game that an entire generation of gamers have known as, “lol Duke Nukem Forever apt name lol!” That game. Its at PAX. Man, what?

Kotaku posted that. That makes me believe it. I wouldn’t have otherwise. I dunno man. I can’t think right now. I have to prepare for a ski trip. You see, Hell has apparently frozen over, and those damned slopes be a’callin’ me. I shall travel there on Flying Pig Airlines. Their slogan? “This can’t really be happening…can it?”


Oh man oh man, the Duke news just keeps rolling in! Going to Kotaku again, Duke Nukem Forever is going to be completed by Gearbox Entertainment, they who created the awesome Borderlands. Gearbox had to come in after 3D Realms, as you remember, died and burst into flames. Wanna know what’s even crazier? Its expected out this year. The mind, it boggles. Today I woke up in a world where Duke Nukem Forever existed in this nebulous cloud of doubt and ridicule. Now what do I make of our universe? When things like this can happen, when Duke Nukem Forever can actually come out, what must I think of our existence?

I feel I must post this now, as this needs to be posted in every single Duke Nukem Forever article ever. This is what we’re dealing with here people. The paper has yellowed. It is being released soon, possibly this year. Repent, for the end has come.

  • EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I’ve been waiting for this game for longer than I care to admit.

    • Kyle

      I am grabbing this day one. I mean, what gamer wouldn’t want to play freaking Duke Nukem Forever? The game has moved into the realm of myth. Its that game that will never come out. To hold it in one’s hands will be akin to grabbing a leprechaun while riding a unicorn on a rainbow. It just shouldn’t be able to happen!

  • Austin Alan

    I don’t understand what all the fuss is about….Duke Nukem wasn’t even that great of a FPS back in the day, why bother with it now???

    • Kyle

      Let me put it this way. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced. Clinton was President. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, Half-Life was a game that was expected to be a hit. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the Playstation 2 was in the early stages of being worked on. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, the Iraq War was the reference to Operation: Desert Storm. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, Google didn’t exist. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, Youtube didn’t exist. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, a cell phone wouldn’t have a camera, let alone Internet access. When Duke Nukem Forever was announced, a six year old boy would look forward to the year 2010 and the thought of entering college.

      Yes, Duke Nukem Forever is the game that a generation of gamers grew up on. It was that one game that we could all stop and stare at. It was a proverbial, constant train wreck. It was our white whale. And now its actually coming out. People don’t want to play it because it looks like a good game. People want to play it because its Duke Nukem Forever.

      • Austin Alan

        if it still looks like an early PS2 game, i think hte ship has sailed and moby dick took it down to meet Davey Jones

        I might snag it if Steam offers it for a buck, but otherwise I am gonna pass(and I love all things FPS)

        just not DN(except the side scroller ones, those were the JAM)

        • Kyle

          Well, these were the last Duke Nukem Forever screens released. Slightly better than PS2, no?

          Though you know, it doesn’t really matter what the game looks like or plays like. This is simply to be a part of the end of the ridiculously stupid saga of Duke Nukem Forever. After over a decade, I just have to know what they were working on.

          • Austin Alan

            I don’t mind old graphics, if the gameplay is good.

            if the game is crap it’s crap regardless of graphics

            and yah it looks just like PS2 with anti aliasing and quality filtering
            kind of like when I put an NGC ISO into an emulator and clean it up a tad

            I start plenty of shooters taht I find arent worth the time I put into them, so I never finish them. FEAR is a good example, game was really boring…but I did only get around to playing it this year, so I am sure the experience was ruined a bit by all the better games I have seen since it’s original release(so I have probly made myself rather biased)

            I am more frustrated that HL2 Ep3 hasnt even released footage or screenshots after all this time in development….I mean really, how hard could it be to release a SHORTER episode more often??? by the time I get my hands on it, I am sure I wont care anymore, other than to finish the damned story 🙁

          • On the date of that receipt, I was working at GameStop. I remember people pre-ordering that game here in town, and after it kept getting pushed back and pushed back, it became a joke amongst the gaming community, especially those working in video game retail. It was a game that, despite continuous release date changes, we never believed would ever see the light of day. Gearbox did an amazing job with Borderlands, so I trust they know what they’re doing. I’m just confident that it will not live up to the hype that’s been growing for over a decade.

            Oh… notice how at the top of the receipt how it tells you to pre-order so you don’t have to wait? Yeah, a lot of good that did lol!

          • Kyle

            I’ve been following the saga of Slash’s receipt for a long while. I think it would be awesome if the very first copy of the game released was given to him. It would just be so very epic.

            And like I said before, it doesn’t matter if the game is any good or not. Its Duke Nukem Forever. The fact that it exists is an accomplishment in and of itself at this point. Its like seeing a yeti and feeling disappointed that it wasn’t as big as you thought it would be. Dude, its a freaking yeti!

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