Dear Ubisoft: Please Make This Happen

Dear Ubisoft: Please Make This Happen

Ever since I played the first Assassin’s Creed, I’ve wanted to be as badass as Altaïr or Ezio. I want the outfit (preferably Altaïr’s), I want the hidden blade (you all have no idea how handy that would be), and I would love to be able to scale buildings with ease and hop around from place to place. Sadly, I am a 28 year old female with no awesome costume, no awesome hidden blade bracer, and a fear of heights. The other morning a glorious idea came to me while laying in bed with Chris, and it needs to become reality…

Ubisoft should create a massive theme park, and by massive, I mean like Walt Disney World massive: as large as the entire city of San Francisco, or something equivalent. The theme park… wait for it… will allow goers to have a complete Assassin’s Creed experience, and if the park is the size I’m thinking of, architects and contractors could create an amazing city. In the price of admission visitors would get a costume, the ability to run around on top of buildings and pretty much anywhere in the park, and multiple daily events would happen in various places that would allow some major characters (played by actors who would work at the park, similar to how Disney has chicks playing princesses) to get “assassinated”.

Of course to ensure the safety of the patrons, they would be attached to harnesses, like one would wear when performing stunts in movies or going to a rock climbing gym. I figure that the wires could be attached to a special mechanism that would go all over the top of the park, allowing everybody to climb buildings or jump from wooden posts and not have to worry about falling and breaking something. Sure, the park would have to be covered by a ridiculous insurance policy, but I think patrons could easy sign a waiver of some sort when entering the park, like one would sign when doing some other “dangerous” activity like bungee jumping.

Think about it though… this would be perfect. How many of you would love to live out this video game, in a massive space, and get to do all of the things you only thought were possible with a controller? I’d want to go daily, and I am confident that it would be a massive hit. It also would be the first of its kind, and a gaming triumph! Being able to do the Leap of Faith, maybe given a special map that would show you where hideouts were so you could get assassin assignments… I know I’d personally love to grab a bunch of my friends and go there for my birthday, or any other day really. With a place like that, the possibilities would truly be endless, and people would be doing something active while having a lot of fun in the process.

Sure the upfront costs would be steep, but the game franchise is incredibly popular, people would easily come from out of the country to visit, and it would be so damn unique. No other theme park in the world would be able to compete with it. So, what do you all think? Would you go, or do you think it would be a major flop?

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