The guy who just directed that Justin Bieber movie? Yeah. Heat Vision says he’s directing this.
So you have a mild hit on your hands with the first G.I. Joe movie and you want to follow it up. What do you do? Well, first off, get rid of the director who, while not a mega huge success, has delivered several very entertaining action movies in his time. Let us forget Stephen Sommers and his work on Van Helsing and focus on his Mummy movies. Those were good, fun movies. So he’s gone. Instead, let us replace him with Jon Chu. Who is Chu? Chu followed Justin Bieber and his ridiculous haircut around and then put it in 3D. Oh, and he also made some Step Up movies. Step Up 2: The Streets and Step Up 3D, I believe. For the love of God, why is a dancing movie in 3D. I… no, focus. So okay, those movies were about dancing. So Bieber, dancing, totally an awesome fit for G.I. Joe, right? Now we have to get our stars back. Oh, sorry Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the best part of the first movie besides the mute ninja Snake Eyes. It looks like you’re busy. Too bad. Guess we’ll have to toss our acclaimed actor as the villainous Cobra Commander right out then. Oh, and Sienna Miller is probably gone, too, as the Baroness.
My friends, there is not enough what the hell is going on in the world to describe how I’m feeling about this. There really isn’t. And you people thought you had it bad with Michael Bay and Transformers.