A Captain Planet Movie. Yes, You Read That Right.

A Captain Planet Movie. Yes, You Read That Right.

You maniacs. You’ve finally done it. You’ve done the thing I never thought you would do. A Captain Planet movie? Why not. We’ve obviously already gone to the realm of the insane.

So I was reading Super Hero Hype when I came across this little thing. Oh no, nothing big, just that Captain Planet is getting a movie for some reason. Cartoon Network and Transformers producer and generally cool guy Don Murphy are making this thing. There are things to talk about, but first go read what there is to read in their press release. Then we shall talk. Oh yes, we shall talk.

Cartoon Network has signed a development agreement with action-adventure producer Don Murphy and partner Susan Montford and their company Angry Filmworks to develop a live-action motion picture based on the groundbreaking, environment-saving animated hero, Captain Planet and the Planeteers, it was announced today by Stuart Snyder, president and COO of Turner Broadcasting System Inc.’s Animation, Young Adults and Kids Media division (AYAKM). The agreement gives Murphy and his company the exclusive rights to develop and package the property and advance it towards production.

Murphy and Angry Filmworks are most notably credited for the highly successful action-adventure franchise, Transformers (2007), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) and Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011). Murphy and Montford together produced the upcoming Hugh Jackman blockbuster Real Steel with Executive Producer Steven Spielberg. The company also is responsible for such action-oriented films as Shoot ‘Em Up (2007), The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), Apt Pupil (1998) and Natural Born Killers (1994). Angry Filmworks formed in 1998.

“The messages of Captain Planet are even more relevant today,” said Snyder. “We feel this team can bring the world’s first eco-hero to life in a powerful motion picture that is not only pertinent but entertaining.”

“We are extremely excited about bringing the good Captain back to life,” said Murphy. “His adventures are known worldwide and he is recognized across generations. We expect to make a spectacular series of films with the amazing team at Cartoon Network.”

“With the earthquakes, tornadoes, melting icebergs and all the other problems threatening the world right now, Earth really needs her greatest defender,” said Montford.

In an effort to inform younger viewers about serious environmental issues, legendary cable entrepreneur Ted Turner partnered with DIC Enterprises in 1990 to create the world’s first animated environmental series, Captain Planet and the Planeteers. The series was about a group of young people who combine their special powers (The Planeteers) to summon Captain Planet, an environmental superhero, to battle the world’s worst eco-villains.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers premiered in fall 1990, airing domestically and internationally in syndication and on cable networks TBS and TNT. Six full seasons of the series were produced in the original run of the series, featuring the voice talents of multiple guest celebrities, including Whoopi Goldberg (Gaia), Meg Ryan (Dr. Blight), Martin Sheen (Sly Sludge), Edward Asner (Hoggish Greedly), James Coburn (Looten Plunder), Dean Stockwell (Duke Nukem) and Sting (Zarm). Winning multiple Environmental Media Awards across its production, Captain Planet and the Planeteers also scored several Daytime Emmy nominations.

Okay, let me make one little ol’ thing clear. When I said in passing that it would be kind of funny to make a Captain Planet movie, that was supposed to be ironic. Does anybody else remember Captain Planet when it originally aired? It wasn’t even good in comparison to Transformers or G.I. Joe or He-Man. Those shows are kind of dumb in retrospect, but still have a latent charm about them. Captain Planet though is just…I mean, my God, one of the characters powers is heart! Heart! He has the power to look into people’s hearts! That was dumb even to a ten-year old! And a movie that is entirely about a blue environmentalist stopping one-note capitalist polluters and spoilers? Didn’t we already watch Avatar? Yes, let us remember the villains of Captain Planet. All they were interested in is polluting the planet. Now, fun fact, but all pollution is a side effect, not the goal. Their goals don’t even begin to make sense!

Okay, calm down. Maybe, maybe Don Murphy has found something in Captain Planet that could be mined to create a film adaptation that would hook an audience and make them fly alongside some uptight teenagers and their flying blue friend. After all, he helped turn a show about cars that turn into space robots into one of the highest grossing movie franchises on the planet. Then again, one of the characters has the power of heart! I refuse to get over that. Screw you Ma-Ti. Nobody likes you or your lame-ass power. Or your monkey.

IMPORTANT EDIT: I have just discovered that one of the villains was voiced by Jeff Goldblum and was a giant rat man named Verminous Skumm. Folks, this thing might have a shot after all.

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…….

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…….

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