Soda Drinker Pro. Soda Drinker Pro. Where do we begin? This title was created in one day by one person. So you can only imagine. What started back in 2008 is now coming to the Xbox One. This is a title where your objective is to drink soda in ridiculous places. Included in its soda-licious confusion is a title called Vivian Clark, which makes me feel like I did drugs in the middle of doing drugs. Then had drugs drug my drugs in that drug trip. Roughly.
With Soda Drinker Pro, there are 100 levels to experience, which is how I would describe the ‘game.’ It isn’t really a game. It is more of an experience. The Xbox One version introduces Kinect support so the game will recognize when you drink a soda in real life, and allows your character to drink the soda in the game. Yeah. I am 100% serious. There are options that support right handed and left handed players, and the Kinect will recognize when you move a cup up to your mouth. I am not kidding. It is actually kind of impressive. The graphics look like they were honestly done in Microsoft paint with weird bubbly 3D animation for random objects, which makes the game even more unsettling.
The audio for the game is…unsettling as well. Some of the music is happy and cheery, and there is some that I still hear in my nightmares. One of my favorite parts was the voice over that would talk about Soda constantly. (Except in space. The distortion makes it nightmare worthy as well.) A few examples of statements include “I wish I could drink this soda forever” and “All these charts and graphs make this soda even better.” I found myself laughing multiple times at the voice over, even though my mind and my body was going into survival mode, telling me to turn the game off and burn the Xbox One to be safe, but here I am.
The Vivian Clark portion was the part that involved drugs. It had to. The concept is you start as a raindrop, and anything you touch, you become. When you enter the world as that object, you have “mini-game” in the loosest possible definition to complete. As you complete these challenges, you unlock pictures in the hub, which I call Hell, due to the cavernous layout and camp fire in the middle. If you die in the minigame, you get the ability to try again. If you die multiple times, it’s game over, but really it’s “you get to go on with your life and not be haunted.”
The graphics and audio are as haunting if not more for VC than Soda Drinker Pro. I… just don’t know. With games I cover, I have a solid idea of how I feel and this game honestly repulses and attracts me. It isn’t good. There isn’t a lot to it. I’m going to get it out of the way and give the “game” a 2/10. It is barely even a game. However, with that said, I would not say stay away from this title. It is an experience, or as the trailer says “a lifestyle.” Not necessarily a positive experience, but one that should be felt. As an experience, I give Soda Drinker Pro a 7/10. Is it worth $5? Ehhhh. Split it with 5 friends and enjoy it together for the price of dollar menu hamburgers. It is crazy how this game makes me feel. Good job Will, you broke me.