Please allow me to preface this story by telling you a little about my childhood. I was very sheltered as a child. I was the “good boy” that never got into any serious trouble, never did anything dangerous, never had too many friends, never participated in social activities, etc. I was not allowed to be exposed to the world most other children were exposed to. I don’t regret this, necessarily. What I do regret, however, is that this lack of exposure means I am late to the party when it comes to most slang statements.
A couple of months ago (I am not sure exactly when) I was having a conversation (I am not sure exactly what about) with Lindsey. At some point in the conversation (I am not sure exactly what point), Lindsey used the phrase “balls deep” in passing. I had heard this phrase once or twice before, but I had never learned its relevance. In this context, “balls deep” was referring to how immersed or “deep” someone was in something. I brandished my rapier sharp wit and retorted, “More like eyeballs deep,” thinking that since the eyeballs were higher on the body than the testicular balls, it would serve to increase the meaning of the phrase.
You can see now why the preface detailing my sheltered upbringing was necessary, yes?
When she heard me say that, Lindsey gave me the look I imagine most of you gave your computer screens when you read it (Something like O_o). A short explanation of terminology later, and I realized that I had provided her (and now, most of you) with a very disturbing mental image.
Parents, raise your kids to know dirty words and terminology, unless you want them to look like a dumbass later in life!
-[insert RESPONSIBLE PARENTING here]