Why I Hate the X-Men Movies

Why I Hate the X-Men Movies

Ever since 2000, I have had a major thorn in my side, and you can blame the people behind the X-Men movies for that. As something I’ve always held dear to my heart, the X-Men series is that of legend. It’s truly epic, and shouldn’t be tampered with. For years I had been wanting to see my favorite characters up on the big screen, and when it finally happened, I wanted to die.

I remember being in fourth grade when I was reading a magazine at a comic book store, and inside was a mention that an X-Men movie was in the works. This excited me to no end as I was a huge fan. I was the kid who would wake up early every Saturday morning to watch the cartoon show on FOX, I was the kid who didn’t fit in because I hung out with the nerdy boys and traded the Fleer cards, and yes… I was the kid who owned the X-Men board game simply because I had to have it. I was obsessed with the X-Men, and I would’ve given my right arm to be either Rogue or the Dark Phoenix (actually, I still would).

When I heard, as a senior in high school, that the movies were finally going to happened, my elation turned instantly to skepticism. I had seen how, over the years, things like Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat were butchered. I knew my dear X-Men would meet the same sad fate, and I was right. They ruined the origin story of Rogue, they did poor casting with Storm, Rogue, Cyclops, and others, Magneto (IMO) was too old and too small to be the big bad (although Ian McKellen is an amazing actor, so I have not one complaint in that department), and what was up with Mystique? The Raven Darkholme I know has smooth skin, is incredibly sexy, doesn’t have greasy looking hair, and wears this dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Also, since when did Rogue obtain the white in her hair through skin contact with Magneto? Exactly. It was an abomination, and I wanted to take my eyes out with a spoon after watching that.

Unfortunately it didn’t get better with the sequel. X2 was just as bad, if not worse, and they really dropped the ball. What they did to Lady Deathstrike was a travesty, and they didn’t even include how Logan knew her. I couldn’t believe what was happening, and I couldn’t believe how the movies were making so much money. I will say that casting Alan Cummings as Nightcrawler was genius, but again they dropped the ball in not even including how him and Mystique were mother and son. Bah!

What really made me want to have a heart attack was the abomination known as X-Men: The Last Stand. One of my favorite story lines has been that of the Phoenix Saga, and I’d give anything to see it done properly. The Last Stand did the exact opposite when they took the Phoenix Saga, bent it over a desk, and raped it over and over and over again. The Dark Phoenix never killed Cyclops, she sure as hell didn’t kill Professor X, and what was with them making the Phoenix out to be some split personality of Jean’s? Piss and vinegar! From there, Calisto was ruined, the Juggernaut was made into some comical figure when he quoted the now infamous line “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”, and what they did to Psylocke was just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Also, notice how in the scene where Magneto is moving the Golden Gate Bridge how everything suddenly shifts from daytime to night? Yeeaaaahhh… like we wouldn’t pick up on that.

What Bryan Singer and Brett Ratner did was criminal, and they shouldn’t be allowed near a movie set ever again. Unfortunately, X-Men Origins: Wolverine was released, and my childhood will be destroyed yet again when X-Men: First Class, X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2, Deadpool, X-Men 4, and X-Men Origins: Magneto are released.

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